Dating is hard.
It gets harder the older we get, and harder yet when we have kids. While I admit I haven’t been trying too hard over the last few years, I’ve definitely noticed that guys tend to shy away from single moms. I’ve heard very openly, many guys harshly declare they would never date a single mom. In my brief stints on Tinder mostly for entertainment purposes, I’ve cringed and rolled my eyes at the profiles that say point blank, “No single moms”. I know I can’t speak for all single moms, but my single mom friends are the most bad ass women I know. You fellas are really missing out on a great thing because you’re afraid of the bonus tiny sidekick that comes with dating a single mom.
Here are five reasons why you should stop swiping left on women with children and remove the ‘no single mom’ disclaimer from your dating checklist:
- We’re not just looking for a new dad for our kids. You say you’re not ready to be a dad and that’s fine, we’re not asking you to. In fact, our kids already have a dad. You’re not going to become an Instant-Dad just because we decide we’re ready to introduce you to our kids. I’m dating for me, not for my kid. You’ll realize if you’re lucky enough to get to meet the little humans in our lives, that they’re pretty rad and will help show you what life is truly all about. AKA, it’s time to stop being so selfish and so afraid of the future.
- We know what we want. Having little humans helps us see what’s important and where we want life to go. We’ve done our soul searching. We’re done with the dating game and the BS that comes with it. You should be lucky that we’ve chosen you to spend time with because we don’t just date for the fun of it anymore. The only games I want to play these days, are Friday night board games with my son.
- We are fiercely independent and a force to be reckoned with. We work hard to provide for our family. And we pride ourselves on it. We work to pay the bills, buy and cook the food, run a household, try balance some form of a social life, make sure our kids are happy and thriving, and on and on and on. We figure out how to fix our cars, or the leak bathroom taps. We aren’t looking for someone to come take care of us because trust me, we got this already.
- We’re too busy to be clingy. In fact, we’re more than ok just doing stuff alone. From working multiple jobs, running kids to school and extracurricular activities, volunteering, hobbies, visiting family, maintaining friendships, we’ve got packed schedules. We’re independent enough to know we don’t need you around 24/7. We have a whole life built already so we aren’t going to turn you into our whole life once we start dating. And when we are giving up our coveted free time, we don’t want it wasted.
- We have snacks and cool toys.
So you should probably take your faulty logic about single moms on a long walk, and cross that off your deal breaker list.