Hi, friends. Who is thankful that tomorrow is a holiday which means today is basically Friday and we have three whole days off to enjoy? Heck yeah, I am. This has been a pretty brutal week for me and I’ve been feeling pretty miserable if I can be frank. I’m looking forward to hopefully recharging and finding some spark again this weekend.
- Last night I had planned to hit up yoga in the park after work. Just as I pulled up, it started to downpour. I was so disappointed because I was really craving a good yoga release. I sat in the parking lot until just before the class was to start. The rain had lightened and they went ahead with the class. Mother Nature totally had our back because it turned beautiful again for the entire class , leaving me nice and sweaty.
- Later in the evening and I ended up driving to one of my favourite spots in the city and went for a little walk. I stumbled upon a little piece of nature paradise in the middle of the city, where I stayed for a long time taking in the sights and sounds. There was a deer grazing off in the distance, ducks floating by, beavers swimming around doing their beaver thing and a cute little muskrat foraging for his bedtime snack. It was perfect and a little hard to leave to face reality again. I’m glad I stumbled upon this little place and will be definitely revisiting when I need a quick escape.
- Do you ever have moments when you feel like your soul needs a hard reset? I’m having one of those moments this year. I feel like I’m not where I want to be in many aspects of my life and find it hard sometimes looking at others who seem to be in really great places. Im not entirely comparing myself to others because we all know how terrible the comparison trap is but I do know that im feeling off. I am really in need of the stars to align to make some major life changes so my soul can feel a little happier.
- Parenting is hard. Liam’s dad has been off work since January and we’ve mutually agreed to split our time with Liam. While I’ve gradually gotten to a point where I don’t feel so lost when Liam is gone so long, it’s equally hard when he comes home because I constantly feel like I’m starting over. The first night always, without fail, comes with a meltdown of epic proportions. Every night following, bedtime is a nightmare, lasting an hour or more with constant stalling, whining and crying. I get so frustrated that I can’t seem to break Liam of these bad habits, that I don’t know how to discipline properly and that I’m just a failure of a parent because I don’t want to lie with him until he falls asleep every single night. I know someday I will long for the chance to lay beside him as he falls asleep and that perhaps I should take advantage of it and that just brings me more guilt. Then with some personal stresses this week leaving me in a terrible, horrible mood, I haven’t been the most fun for Liam this week and I feel terrible about it. Seriously, is there a point when things get easier and you stop doubting your parenting abilities?
- I’ve had to cut my coffee consumption in half. My doctor suspects I may have an ulcer and because I typically drink at least 4 cups a day, he suggests I limit myself to 2 at most and see if symptoms get better. The first week I felt like my brain was in a fog and was so, so tired. However, I was diligent about eating well and limiting acidic foods and alcohol (womp) and I felt much better. While it definitely sucks having to cut back on the good stuff, it would definitely be good to know that’s what’s going on and not a bigger, unknown issue.
- Have you met Jo? She really inspires me to work towards a life and self that I truly love. She is also really great with talking me through issues that are stressing me out (usually dating related). She always knows just the right thing to say and has a no BS attitude that I love. <3
- Lastly, dating sucks.
I’m spending the weekend by the lake and hopefully also in the mountains. Liam and I are looking forward to relaxing on Canada Day at the beach with family and then if all goes according to plan, I’m heading to Lake Louise to do a little hiking. I hope you all have a fantastic, safe Canada Day long weekend friends!