Hey! Happy Friday! How was everyone’s week? Mine was fairly low key which is just fine with me. I did take Liam to see a live nativity pageant last night which he really loved, mostly for the donkey and sheep. I’m telling you though, the Christmas spirit is strong with us.
I wanted to use today’s post as a bit of a progress report. I won’t deny that since having a baby, I haven’t loved my body. I tried hard to feel pride over all of the amazing things this body of mine is capable of but when I looked in the mirror, I was unhappy. I was (and still partially am) holding on to my pre-pregnancy body. The body that was a size 4, with muscle definition and visible abs. That body did Crossfit, yoga, ran and more almost every day of the week, while eating a pretty strict, clean diet.
The body I have now is a size 10/12 with no abs in sight. The body I have now is limited to 30 minute home workouts when life permits, with limited equipment to work with and a much less perfect diet. The body I have now has wider hips and wider ribs that may never narrow and that dreaded ‘mom tummy’ that I don’t know how to deal with. I hated it.
After three years, I’m slowly coming around to my new body.
I recognized some time ago that I needed some help with accepting and loving my body. I know that pre-pregnancy, even with that rocking bod, I didn’t fully love my body. I actually didn’t realize how good I looked back then, until after having a baby and looking back on old photos. I was scared that I had some form of body dysmorphia and that I may never be happy with what I saw in the mirror. I slugged through half-assed workouts and made mostly healthy choices, but nothing really seemed to help me feel better about my body image.
Thankfully the universe sent me that message to start being kinder. I knew that practicing kindness towards my physical self would ultimately play an important part of accepting my post-pregnancy body and have been making a strong effort to practice kindness every day for the past couple months.
After committing to a round of 21 Day Fix, staying on top of my workouts and committing to eating clean, I saw some visible results. I lost a few inches, I was less bloated and I felt pretty damn good, but I still wasn’t totally happy with the body I saw in the mirror. I had some good days but I still had a lot of bad days. I’ve just recently completed a round of 21 Day Fix Extreme and am starting another round with a challenge group led by Amie. I decided for this round I would actually take and share some ‘before’ photos, knowing I likely wouldn’t get any drastic results being in the middle of the holiday season. I’d previously avoided taking progress photos for my own reference because I just didn’t want to see what I truly looked like and am not sure what compelled me to go for it this time.
I was surprised to look at the photos and not actually hate them. I suddenly didn’t feel gross and actually thought, “hey, I actually look pretty damn good!”.
Looking at these photos and not immediately feeling awful actually motivates me to continue showing up for my workouts and pushing myself but not beating myself up if I miss a workout. I am more encouraged to keep my diet clean and choose to not to indulge in my favourite beer and snacks as often, but not denying myself a treat here and there. I am actually excited that I’m not that far away from starting to see some real muscle definition and feeling like that real badass fit chick that I used to be.
The biggest lesson I learned wasn’t that I need to burn myself out working out all night to make progress, because I don’t. The biggest lesson wasn’t that I need to stay 100% focused on my diet to get good results, even though it plays a pretty big part. The biggest lesson I learned is to simply be kinder to myself, always.
Workouts this week:
3 mile treadmill run
10 Minute Hardcore Abs
Kill Cupcake via Beachbody On Demand
Upper Body Fix
Lower Body Fix
Total Body Chisel – Hammer & Chisel preview via Beachbody On Demand
Off for a Christmas party!
I have a busy weekend ahead with my department Christmas party tonight, Liam’s last swimming lesson of this session, a birthday party, and the usual weekend cleaning/laundry/groceries. Hope you all have a great weekend and see you on Sunday Runday!