Are you ready for some real talk this evening? If you’ve been reading this little slice of the internet for any length of time, you’ll know that I always keep it real. The internet makes it so easy to paint your life to be perfect and leave others feeling completely inadequate. Of course this is 100 times worse for mom’s these days, with all of the beautiful Pinterest parties, eloquent nurseries and kid’s rooms, perfectly styled children, professional grade photos, skillfully crafted school lunches, and endless sensory play bins that I could never imagine finding the time to build for my son, although I wish I could. But I love my son to the moon and back and then some. He’s fed, he’s clothed, and he’s the happiest little goof ball. I know I’m not perfect, but shouldn’t those things be enough? Frankly there’s not enough moms showing their imperfections on the ‘net and reminding us that we aren’t alone in our imperfections. I’m so glad that Tawnya posted her confessions and encouraged other mom’s to do the same. Her post came at a time when I really, REALLY needed to know that I wasn’t alone.
We shouldn’t have to feel guilty for not living up to the internet’s expectations of a good mom. Let’s help each other feel better about our parenting choices and help others know that they are never alone in the sometimes imperfect parenting choices they may make.
- My kid watches more than one episode of Bubble Guppies in a row. TV isn’t an every day thing in my house, but I will turn it on if I need to distract Liam or if we are home for a full day, like when he’s sick. It’s not uncommon for him to watch Bubble Guppies for a couple hours while he’s playing. It saves my sanity some days and I’m ok with that.
- I feed my child processed food. When he first started eating I was big on not feeding him any processed foods. I knew he would get it outside of my home and I wanted to keep it out of his diet as much as possible. I even got mad at an uncle for feeding Liam Cheerios. But now the snack staples include Annie’s bunny crackers, packaged cookies, crackers, packaged deli meat and boxed mac and cheese.
- My patience and temper are short. This is something I’m working on but brings me to my next point.
- I yell at my child. One day after he was not listening when I asked him to put his toys away, I really lost my shit on him. I yelled so hard that he screamed and when I went to grab him to bring him back to his toys, he jumped as if I had hit him. I have never felt so much guilt in my entire life.
- My floors are filthy. I never bother mopping the kitchen and dining room because they’re just going to end up dirty in 3 seconds anyways. My carpet is probably harbouring all sorts of weird things because it needs a serious cleaning too.
- I feed my kid toast for dinner more than I should. It’s his favourite food and sometimes I’m just too tired/lazy to want to cook dinner that he probably won’t eat anyways.
- I get excited for the days he goes to his dads. Of course I want as much time as I can with Liam, but doing it all on my own is exhausting and I really look forward to the time where I can just be me. Even if all I do is clean the house and watch Netflix.
- I change my sons diaper while he’s standing up. He refuses to lie down for me anymore and it’s a battle I’m just not willing to have with him multiple times a day. So he stands, and I often fight to get him clean and sometimes he’s probably not even fully clean. Sometimes poo gets smeared on surfaces poo shouldn’t be on. But he has a clean diaper and my sanity and that’s all that matters right?
- Liam still takes a cup of water to bed. I read many articles that say he shouldn’t do this, but when he was a baby it was the easiest way for him to go to sleep. He’d drink his bottle, toss it and roll over. He doesn’t have milk anymore, just water, but always drinks his water, tosses the cup and rolls over to go to sleep. Another battle I’m not quite ready for is weaning him from this behaviour.
- I’m bad at discipline. I try, but I know I have a lot to work on. He often doesn’t listen to me and I’m working on my consistency and methods to try and improve it before I have a little monster.
- I sometimes fear spending a whole day at home with Liam. I always try to get out of the house with him because we both get a little crazy stuck inside all day together. I remember when my day home had asked if I could keep him home the next day to try and clear his cold I was dreading being at home all day. In the end it was a perfect day and I had nothing to worry about, but some days, I’m ready for a drink at the end!
- And like Tawyna ended her list with: I need help. Most days I feel like I have no idea what the hell I’m doing as a parent. Most other days, I’m so overwhelmed trying to keep up with a full time job, single parenting, and everything else in life. I don’t like to ask for help, but I always feel like I need it. And that’s ok and I know that it’s ok to ask for it.
Despite this list, I feel like I’m doing pretty ok at this mom gig. I have the cutest little boy with the goofiest personality and a lot of people who love him like crazy. I work hard to be the best mom I can be for him and hope that every night he goes to bed as happy as he could possibly be. His upcoming birthday party might not be worth pinning and his lunches may not be Instagram worthy and he may have watched two hours of Bubble Guppies while eating a bowl of dry cereal and his third banana of the day, but that’s ok. Again, like Tawnya suggested, I don’t need to hear comments of reassurance on how I’m a good mom, I already know I’m a good mom. I want to hear your confessions too, I want YOU to show other moms that bad days happen to all of us.