Family

How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy

November 9, 2012

While I’m getting some cuddle time in with Liam, working out our nursing problems and trying to get enough rest to recover from surgery, I’ve lined up a couple of guest posts so things aren’t so dead around here. Once Liam and I find a routine, I hope to be back blogging somewhat more regularly.

Hi everyone! I am Lindsey and blog over at a running tale.  Becky asked me to do a guest post for her so she can spend more time cuddling her new baby boy, Liam and I was more than happy to help. I took me a bit to think of a topic to write about today but since Becky has just recently expanded her family I thought I might write on a somewhat related topic.

I have been married for just over two (very) wonderful years, but have been with my husband for over ten years.  But saying that I am no expert in relationships and only know what has worked for us and hopefully will continue to work for us.

Here are my top tips at keeping your relationship happy

Number one -communication. I know everyone knows this and says this but I cannot stress it enough. Not stating your feelings, good or bad, will rarely make any situation better.  I truly believe that many relationship problems could be avoided if the partners communicated with each other.  But remember the key is not only communication but also good communication – not yelling or insulting your partner. Talk about any problems you have and chances are your partner will do the same and both of you will feel more comfortable doing so in the future so that problems don’t go hidden.

The next point I will touch on we learned in pre-martial classes. I think to sum it up it would be understanding your partner and understanding you are two different people with different views and expectations. Early this year I did a post on a book called the 5 Love Languages, and it is a book I think every couple should read and find their own love language.  For most couples their love language will be  different and will help you to understand your partner better. For us, my main love language was receiving gifts, whereas my husband’s is words of affirmation. Before I read this book I would sometimes be frustrated or feel less loved when my husband might not put tons of thought into my gifts or rarely would buy me gifts just because. But after I realized it was not that he didn’t love me that he did not do these things but rather it was because he showed his love for me in another way, in words of affirmation. Learning each other’s love languages will also help with my first point communication. Check out the quiz, it can be found at the above link I think and only takes 5-10 minutes.

A tradition we started before we were even married was planning date nights for each other.  Every other month we take turns in planning a date night for each other. It has to be more than a movie at home, since we do that anyways. It does not need to be extravagant but just something we can do together.  Some date days/nights we have done are going on mini road trips, going to a fancier restaurant, cross-country skiing, going to plays, making a nice supper at home together. It is about spending quality time together and appreciating each other’s company. While this is important now, I think it will be even more important in the future when we start a family. Mom and Dad need time out and away too!

I know this is getting long but I only have one last point for you guys! My last point/tip is doing what the other person loves even when you don’t love it. Now I don’t mean because your spouse loves golfing that you have to golf with them every time they go but instead go with them here and there and try out the activity they love. I used the golfing example since it is something my husband loves. This summer he had a pass and would go 1-2 times a week, and while I do like golf I do not love it but still made an effort to go every other week with him.  Showing an interest in what your partner likes to do will be appreciated by them and will also allow for more quality time together.  Now what I do not mean by this is spend 24/7 together as having your own “me” time is also important. But just show an interest in the activities your partner enjoys and who knows who might find a new hobby as well!

I will stop there before I bore everyone with my old person talk. Haha. I actually do feel old writing about relationships! And like I said these are only my tips, I am no expert.

Becky, once little Liam is a bit older make sure Mom and Dad get some time out and away too. But in the meantime enjoy all those baby cuddles!

Lindsey

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